Here goes nothing
by Crazy heart
Summary: Loliver angst, but more of a Lackson oneshot. When and why did Lilly break up with Oliver? Are Lilly and Jackson together? Lame summary, please read anyway. For all lackson lovers, read review and show support for lackson!


All that I used to be

All that I used to be

Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana or any of 'eir characters. Happy now?

AN: You'll a _slightly_ longer author's note at the end of the chapter. Go Lackson! I'm forever faithful to Lackson fanfics. Show your support to by reviewing and making all Lacksons more noticed(this included!!) ! This is Loliver angst, too lol.

(Lilly's POV throughout)

I walked into the church holding Jackson's hand. I knew this was not going to be easy but I had to do it. It was my so called friend Joannie's wedding. My other best friend, to be more precise, _once best friend's_ wedding as well.

Who else, other than Oliver, the old dufus, donut boy back from high school. The idiot who stole my heart and then went and broke it.

Flashback (when in college):

_I just want to get back home. To Oliver. It's been a long day and he's the only who knows how to make it all better, apart from of course my best girl friend Miley. But being a secret pop princess does have it's own time consuming disadvantages. The last I spoke to her was three weeks ago and she was touring Europe. How come I didn't go? Simple, two words: Mom and college. Moms are so stubborn…_

_Seems like just yesterday_

_You were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall_

_I used to be so strong_

_Your arms around me tight_

_Everything, it felt so right_

_Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong_

_The only other girl I talk to is Joannie and talking to the guys makes Oliver really mad at me. So, yeah, it's been a long day, I thought as I opened the door to my apartment. Wait, what are those sounds I'm hearing from the bedroom? 'Oh Oliver, you donut, how many times have I told you not to watch The Exorcist all by yourself?' I thought as I opened the door ready to see him hugging my teddy bear , possibly a pillow._

"_Shit! What the-" said Oliver's voice as I saw in disbelief, a half naked Oliver and a Joannie lying under the sheets lying on __**MY **__bed in__** MY**__ room of __**MY**__ apartment. Now if that isnt a good way of getting cheered up I have no idea what is. _

_Now I can't breathe_

_No, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on_

"_Get dressed and get the hell out of my apartment. I don't want to find you here when I'm back. And take everything with you, Oken and don't ever bother keeping in touch," I said slamming the door behind me as I ran out of my apartment. _

_Here I am, once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny it, can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up, deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these hazel eyes_

2 Months later:

_I was sipping my coffee (cappuchino) lazily, sitting at Starbucks awaiting Jackson. We were going to meet up here and later on go to catch some waves together. I was happily thinking of how the last time Jackson was trying to amuse with his amazing feat of super fast eating and accidentally ended up dropping ice-cream all over himself and how goofy, yet cute he looked back then. Suddenly a familiar face caught my eye and I choked on my drink in shock. Slowly I regained my composure and waited for the dreaded silhouette to approach me. _

"_Oliver. Long time, no see. What brings you here?Oh, look at the time, I gotta get going. I've got more important things to do than sit around and talk to morons." I said making to get up, but he grabbed my shoulder and said "Please, Lilly, we need to talk. Stop ignoring me. You cant go on like this forever."_

_Normally I would have liked to have been dramatic and say I could go on like that forever or at the least until I die, but I didn't feel up to it. Plus, it couldn't hurt just _hearing _ what he had to say, surely? Wait, but why was I interested in what he had to say? What do I care what he has to say when he went and slept with one my friends? That was the ultimate betrayal. I just sat down trying to relieve my head of these confusing thoughts._

"_Thank you, Lilly. I appreciate it very much. I'm very sorry about what I did to you. It was wrong of me to cheat on you. Please believe me, when I tell you I'm really sorry," he said sincerely._

_He's sorry? He thinks it's just enough to be sorry? He clearly has no idea how it feels like when people have betrayed your trust. But, he does seem to be sincere.. Wait, is he going to ask for another chance? Should I give him one? __**But what about Jackson? **__Do I love Jackson? I havent gotten over Oliver yet, but oh my God this is so confusing..._

_I merely nodded and made a gesture of looking at my watch. As if I had somewhere else to be and he was keeping me. Gosh, I'm acting like such a bitch. He deserves it anyway._

"_Look, you're probably not going to agree with me on this, but I think we should put all of this in the past and be friends again. Truce?" he asked extending his hand out._

_He's such a child at times. I just rolled my eyes and shook his hand._

"_Whatever, donut boy."_

_I told you everything_

_Opened up and let you in_

_You made me feel alright_

_For once in my life_

"_Hey!" he whined jokingly like he used to back in high school. "By the way, you cant get mad at me, but me and Joannie are now officially dating," he said with a bright smile on his face._

_Hearing this, my heart fell. I could feel tears well up and tried my best to hide them. Donut boy would always be the same. Insensitive and hopeless. This is what he always wanted, I realized; a girl like Joannie who could satisfy his needs, a girl who was far prettier than I was, ever will be. Even when he was dating me, he wasn't deceived, I was. He didn't mistake me for The One. I'm such an idiot._

"_Oliver, you're such a jerk at times, that I wonder how anyone let alone Joannie tolerates you. But, if she's the one for you, I'm happy for you. Goodbye." I said and walked out of Starbucks café thinking 'No, I'm not happy for you, you moron. You broke my heart, how on earth am I supposed to be happy for you?'_

Back to the present: (Wowieee! Did we just do time travel?!)

"So, havent seen you in a long, long while, best friend.." said a familiar voice I'd heard on the radio the day before, when me and Jackson where driving back to Malibu, to attend this wedding.

"Miley! Oh my God, it's been forever since I last saw you," I yelled enthusiastically and hugged her. I immediately blushed when everyone paused with whatever they were doing hearing me yell to stop and glare at me.

We both soon started catching up with each other's lives. I mean, Miley was always busy being Hannah, sure we talked but only when Hannah had a concert in New York, where I currently live.

"So, how are feeling? And I'm not talking about your health, I'm talking about Oliver and Joannie getting married and all.." she said hesitantly.

"I'm fine, Miley!! Seriously, you think I would ever look at a guy who cheated on me a second time? Besides, I have Jackson and I think I love him…" I said shyly a faint blush creeping up my cheeks.

"Yes! I knew it. I'm sorry, Lilly, that I doubted you, but I was worried.. I didn't want to see my best friend or my brother hurt," she replied looking a little relieved.

"Oh, look it's the man of the wedding in all his splendid mandor," continued Miley seeing Oliver walking towards us. I snorted. "What on earth does mandor mean? You better not be insulting the Ollie trolley, Miley, I _am _the man of the wedding after all" said Oliver, looking kind of handsome in his tux. Wait, handsome? I snorted at my bad use of adjective. Oliver just raised his eyebrows.

(AN: I got confused if it was adverb or adjective, but apparently it is adjective!)

"Mandor as in man with odor, get it?" Miley said chuckling. Seeing Oliver starting to check his odor, she got a little more serious and said "Um, Oliver? It was a joke."

"Oh." He replied. "I cant wait to see Joannie and get this over with, I'm so nervous!!" he whined sounding like the donut boy me and Miley had taken to call him since junior high. "You'll do just fine. You'll be a great husband, Oliver, no worries," I managed to choke out; every word made me feel depressed.

_Now all that's left of me_

_Is what I pretend to be_

_So together, but so broken up inside_

_'Cause I can't breathe_

_No, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hangin' on_

"Thanks Lilly. So how are you and Jackson doing? I heard you're dating him? Make sure you use protection when you're with the Jacksonnator," he smirked as I smacked him in the arm and ranted "Why you, sick, sick, mentally decapitated person!"

_Why on earth would he think that?_

_I never even allowed himself to take advantage of me. _

_Whatever gave him that idea? _

_Did he think I was that desperate for sex? _

_Did he forget that he was the one who cheated on me and not the other way around?_

_Did he think I've forgiven him and gotten over it already?_

_In that case he is mistaken._

_Sadly. _

_Here I am, once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny it, can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up, deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these hazel eyes_

"Places everybody, it's time," said another voice and I recognized that to be the Bishop's.

Oliver left us and walked down the aisle and took his place. Jackson then stopped talking to Rico and we both walked and took our seats in the groom's side of the church.

The music started playing and the bride walked or should I say _glided _in the aisle. She was wearing a beautiful white elegant strapless gown with roses designed on the waistline and hemline (the below part of the dress) that made her glow, and it made me feel sad. Somehow, I felt I should have been the one and not her. But I've lost Oliver. It's too late. Come to think of it, I never had him. Joannie was the one who'd captured his heart. Joannie. Joannie in her beautiful white dress.

Soon, it was time to read out their vows.

Oliver:

_I promise you that from the depth of my heart, that come what may, I shall always protect you and carry you in my heart wherever I go._

_You are the woman of my life, you are the light behind my tunnel, I shall always protect your flame. _

_Our love was foretold, even before we were born my love; this marriage is nothing but a physical act of showing the world the love and emotional attachment we have to each other. _

_You are the only woman I've ever truly loved and ever will._

Oh my God. He told me he loved me. It was all a lie. I'd been living with a lie; that he'd loved me but fallen out of love.

_Swallow me then spit me out_

_For hating you, I blame myself_

_Seeing you it kills me now_

_No, I don't cry on the outside_

_Anymore..._

I trembled and I felt Jackson's arm go around my waist. I looked at him and he smiled back at me and kissed me on the forehead. He whispered in my ear "One of these days, that's going to be me and you on that altar in place of Oliver and Joannie." I couldn't help but smile, surely Jackson was joking.

Joannie: 

_I promise you that I will always stay with you, be there for you, for everything._

_I promise to love you like I do now for eternity and ever more._

_You have made my life so meaningful, you give me a reason to wake up._

_I never have felt this way before, you are truly a Godsend._

_I thank God everyday for everyday that we've spent together and I now thank God for giving me a chance to spend the rest of my life with the only man I've ever loved._

_Thank you for loving me._

Looking at Joannie, I realized how much she truly loved him. I guess they were meant to be. I only wished I hadn't got hurt in the process. I havent been able to trust any man since then. Any man except Jackson.

_Here I am, once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny it, can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up, deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these hazel eyes..._

"I now declare you man and wife!" the bishop announced.

After the ceremony, at a gathering outside Miley Stewart's house:

I was chatting up with Dandruff Danny who'd just gotten an offer for presidency at Harvard, when I heard Jackson's voice, "Hey Danny, mind if I borrow my _girlfriend_ for a minute?"

Wait, did he just lay emphasis on the word girlfriend? Was the Jacksonnator starting to get jealous? That too of Dandruff Danny? I snorted as I let Jackson lead me by the hand thinking , _oh, that would be the day._

We then walked to the beach where he'd planned for us to watch the sunset together.

Who knew Jackson was such a hopeless romantic? Who knew I was such a sucker for hopeless romantics? I sure didn't.

"Thanks for bringing me here, Jackson. It's so beautiful.." I said as I laid my head on his arm.

"Sure, but not as beautiful as you are," he smirked playfully.

"That's not getting you nowhere, sorry," I replied chuckling.

"But _this_ sure might get me _somewhere._"

"Here goes nothing," he muttered looking nervous. Gosh, he was so adorable when he was nervous. I always felt like hugging him and kissing him on the nose when I see him like that.

He got down on his knees, opened a velvet box, and slowly I was thinking maybe Jackson wasn't joking in the church…

He said looking at me, holding a sapphire ring in his hand (Sapphires are my favorites, not diamonds…) "Lillian Truscott, you are the woman who has my heart and the one I want to have it all my life. You make me happy and I would consider it a honour to spend the rest of my life with you. Lilly, will you marry me?"

Oh my God. He just proposed. And here I am sitting with my mouth wide open. I then looked in his eyes. Everything fell into place. I loved Jackson. His humour, his clumsiness, his goofiness, his adorable face,…just about everything about him.

He had my heart. Not Oliver. Oliver has my past. Jackson has my future.

**Say yes, you moron, otherwise he's going to think you're getting cold feet! **Sheesh, conscience, you don't have to jump at my throat. It's what I was about to do anyway.

I pulled him close and kissed him. He seemed surprised but kissed back. I then pulled away and embraced him. I then whispered playfully in his ear, "I will, only if you will…"

He smiled and said "It would be my pleasure" as he continued kissing me while holding me in his arms.

I guess this is how it's meant to be. It's perfect. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

_I got a pocket full of, pocket full of sunshine _

_I got a love and I know that it's all my own_

_Do what you want but you're never going to break me_

_The sticks and the stones are never going to shake me, oh, woah.._

_The end._

AN: Ok so that was a Lackson oneshot I did in 3 hours. I kept my promise you guys! Now read and review!! By the way, I know Lilly doesn't have hazel eyes and all, but bear with the story. Woah. Read and tell me it was good. Or tell me it wasn't too bad. Anything. Also, I'm working on another HM story. I'm not sure if it's loliver or lackson, but most probably lackson. So look out for that if you liked this story. Please review, need I remind you again? By the way, if this was any good, thank you.make.me.love.you for getting me to write a HM story.

Love, muah! (lol!)

Crazy heart.


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